Everything about this girl is summed up with one word, “much.” She is so very much. Her personality, her vivaciousness, her precociousness, her level of activity, of noise, her questions and conversations, her creativity and thirst for knowledge and connection, her outgoingness and also her shyness, her anger and sadness and stubborness, her happiness, her spirit – there is so very, very much of each.
Sometimes I get so distracted by what “needs” to be done that I miss much of her.
Other times there is so much, so many actions, movements, noises and words happening all at once that this introverted mama who loves nothing more than to curl up with a good book or sit for hours on the beach watching and listening to only the sound of the waves, gets overwhelmed and wishes, begs for not quite so much.
But then, I breathe.
In those moments of so much, I must remind myself not to get overwhelmed by it all, but to focus in on my darling love. To look in her eyes and connect to that little girl who loves me so much, who wants so much for me to sit and play with her, to snuggle with her.
Nothing quiets the muchness of her like giving her much of me.
So, I breathe.
I turn from all there is to do to wrap my arms around her, giving her all of me for a moment, and another, and another. I get so much love in return that I am filled with it and wonder how I can get so overwhelmed and so distracted that I miss such beauty.
I worry sometimes that too much separates us from one another – too many differences, too many mistakes, too many moments when I wasn’t fully present – but then I stop and focus and we share much of ourselves with eachother and the differences and mistakes fade and so much love and light remains. If I stop being so busy and focus on her and give her so much of myself – my whole self, my full attention – much of herself is returned. She shares her thoughts and stories and cuddles and so, so much love and I can see through the noise. I can see all that she is and how much she is growing and learning and loving and wanting to be understood and loved in return.
Then, I breathe. And fall in love with her all over again.
My love, you have given me much.